Generating Positive Experiences for children

The subjective valence of childhood experience has implications not only ‘in the moment’ but throughout children’s ongoing development. When children view their everyday experiences to be largely positive, they are likely to see the world as a safe place and to develop good relationships with those around them. Their growing history of positive experiences allows them to be optimistic about their lives ahead. They can afford to create visions of their futures, find the various pathways that head them in helpful directions and sense optimism about what lies ahead. They come to see that their activity is valued by others and that their contributions are appreciated. In sum, repeated positive experiences during childhood help children to feel safe in their surroundings and to assign meaning to their activity.

The contribution of positive Emotions

Children experience positive emotions when they feel happy, excited, included and proud. The activities that bring about these feelings differ from child to child and, as adults, we must attune ourselves to the preferences of young people in order to create opportunities for these emotions to surface. While happy experiences help contribute to children’s bank of positivity, cheerful activity alone does not encompass all of children’s positive emotions. Children feel positive emotions when they are absorbed in activities that they enjoy, not necessarily because the activities lead to outcomes but for their intrinsic value. They simply enjoy doing these things. For example, children may enjoy kicking a football, taking a broken machine apart, dressing up dolls or drawing. In such circumstances, they may feel relaxed, focused, and curious. They may not feel merry but nevertheless enjoy satisfying, positive emotions.

The place of negative emotions

The need for positive emotions to emerge from routine experiences does not mean that negative emotions are always inappropriate or pointless. Furthermore, they are not always avoidable. Negative emotions include feeling scared, angry, sad, isolated, embarrassed and disappointed. We all feel negative emotions at times and every so often learn helpful skills from challenging experiences. Children’s responses to unwanted experiences and the impact of negative or heavy emotions on their well-being are influenced by their previous experiences. Contrary to popular belief, those children whose lives have been filled with dominantly positive experiences, may be better positioned to respond constructively to unwelcomed and perhaps unexpected incidents. A bank of positive experiences helps children to make sense of situations and lighten their feelings. The events may be less likely to trigger strong negative reactions associated with well-worn pathways of maladaptive response.

MANAGING THE SOCIAL AND LEARNING ENVIRONMENT

Parents, teachers and others who work with children and teenagers can create opportunities for children to experience positive emotions. Adults often do this without thinking, particularly when they know children well. They find out what is intrinsically motivating for each child and work to create repeated positive experiences, recognizing that preferences for and confidence in engaging in activities differs among groups of children. From their observations of children at work and play, parents and teachers can helpfully share information about children’s subjective experience of various activities. They can manage the social interaction in their respective environments, optimising opportunities for social and emotional learning. The peer social environment contributes hugely to the valence of a child’s experience and, when monitored to ensure children feel safe, allows children to surround themselves with happy, curious and cooperative models. Similarly, the joy experienced by adults in children’s lives also impacts their emotions. When adults around children demonstrate their positive affective states, children’s emotions are more likely to be positive and any heavy negative emotions that may come their way can be lightened more readily.

Summary of activity to support children’s positive experience

Fostering children’s positive emotions to ensure they have positive experiences today and in the future call for the following actions.

  1. Creating opportunities for positive play and social interaction.

  2. Gently managing the social environment of children working and playing together. Arranging activities to increase the likelihood of generating positive peer interactions. The environment must be social, emotionally and physically safe.

  3. Teach children the social skills required to optimize the positivity in their everyday environments.

  4. Check that activity is sufficiently novel and stimulating for children to be curious but not so difficult as to limit confidence and experience of success.

  5. Finding out what is intrinsically motivating for young people and, if this is difficult to find, helping young people cultivate interests that pique their passions.

  6. Ensuring that positive experiences are not ‘one-off’ but are repeated. Consistent, repeated, positive experience helps to consolidate the positive pathways of children’s thoughts and feelings and creates a sense of anticipation of and optimism for further positive experiences.

  7. Making sure that school staff and parents intentionally exchange information about children’s positive experiences and preferences. It can be too easy to focus on negative events as our brains are designed to do this effortlessly.

  8. Demonstrating positive adult emotions and genuine enjoyment in children’s company.

From:

Annan, J. (2022). 7 Dimensions: Children’s emotional well-being. Auckland, Mary-Egan Publishing. ISBN: 9780473634407

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Supporting Children’s Sense of Meaning: Identity, self-narratives, hope, optimism, direction and contribution.